Monday, November 21, 2005

The Poseidon Adventure

I had to watch the 3-hour made for TV remake of the one of my favorite movies and the first movie I saw unattended in a movie theatre in 1972, I believe. And the results were not pleasing. The most I can say is that for a 3-hour a movie, it did keep me watching all the way to the end. With that said, let’s go through why it didn’t make the cut.

The casting was awful! I always say you can’t remake a classic movie if it also has a classic cast. To replace the likes of Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine and Shelly Winters for a Steve Guttenberg (who looks awful by the way), Rutger Hauer (who put me to sleep as a the priest; he only excels playing evil villains), and a cast of nobodies, just didn’t capture the "spirit" of their situation throughout the movie.

The whole idea of the ship being bombed by terrorist activities versus a tidal wave was also pretty lame. I realize they wanted to revise it, but you know, it worked the first time, stick with it! (I’m surprised they didn’t blame President Bush for the SS Poseidon!). I wanted to stuff the digital camera down that little kid’s throat, as the constant filming was beyond obnoxious. The best part of the original version was the survivors’ harrowing journey and escape from the top of the ship to the bottom (since it was upside down). But in this remake, every time we got a shot of them making their way through another harrowing moment, all momentum was killed with a cut back to the headquarters’ staff meetings, and Navy Seals. How stupid! I could go on and on but, what’s the point? Oh yes, and you like how the first group of survivors fought their way to their safety, but the second group just flew up the tree and blew through all obstacles in minutes to catch up with the first group?!

Anyways, on a scale from 1-4, 1 is the word.


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